You’ve heard me talking about coaching, but do you know what it really is?
I got to tackle this topic in my Q&A with Sherri Johnson at StyleBlueprint this week, and a couple of my clients talked about their own experiences with coaching.
In the interview, which you can read here, Sherri asked me what’s the difference between a life coach, executive coach and a therapist. Excellent question!
“A great coach looks at the highest level of who that person is,” I said. “You can’t address one part of the person and separate the business side or the personal goals — it’s about the whole person. It’s like that saying, ‘wherever you go, there you are.’”
Oh, and let me tell you the behind-the-scenes about my clients in this article: When Sherri first pitched me this idea at CreativeMornings, she asked if I would have clients open to talking to me. At first, I wasn’t sure they’d want to be so open about their experiences.
But when I asked, they wanted to go on the record so other people could see what’s possible for other moms out there, if they were open to the possibility of getting support.
Chandra Johnson, owner of SOCO Gallery and wife of NASCAR’s Jimmy Johnson, talked about how she’s reaping the benefits of coaching today. “My friends have all noticed a transformation in me,” she says. “I now make decisions from my highest and best self, instead of fear.”
The thing is, coaching is for people who are operating at high levels and need additional support. Sometimes people feel stuck, and they often can’t see beyond what they know.
Doing that one-on-one can be so powerful. And the same thing can happen when a group of loving, mindful women come together in a group.
This October is your chance to get your self-care on. The Luscious Mother Group Coaching will help you have a different experience where you are:
- Empowered to take care of yourself
- Energized by your family and career
- Connected and passionate in your relationships
I encourage you to learn more about Luscious Mother Group Coaching here.
While you’re at it, share this article with all the bad ass moms you know that could benefit from the additional support, and let ‘em know if they’re looking for a little more support, this October’s Luscious Mother Group Coaching is the place.
Until next time, keep that luscious heart.
Boy, I had THE BEST time in Chicago: I lead my first Accomplishment Coaching training weekend.
I wasn’t the #1 back up dancer. I was running the show with another leader. Large and in charge.
This is what I’ve been working towards for the last three and a half years.
And at times, I wanted to quit the whole shabang. Let me explain:
I graduated three plus years ago from the AC Program.
There was an opportunity to join the leadership team and be a mentor. Then there was a big opportunity to coach and train at the United Nations. My first year was great — relatively easy.
And as I grew in my leadership — it got really hard.
Training for a big job can be really confronting, especially in my work where when people call you out on your stuff. Often, ego and self-defense come into play.
It’s a lot to deal with, and there were many times I wanted to quit.
But, I had a few positive things on my side that kept me in the game:
A coach who reminded me of my higher commitment to transforming lives.
A supportive team to remind me of my greatness.
A group of people who listened to me, always.
Back to my Chicago trip: Saturday morning, I spoke to a group of 40ish people (participants, guests and mentor coaches) I didn’t know. I had to create credibility and relationships with people I’d never met in a city I’d never been in with a team I didn’t know.
What happened: People saw things they hadn’t seen and valued my input as a coach: Someone who’s on the outside of your BS who says, “Hey, that’s BS.”
The Monday morning after I trained/led in Chicago, I woke up in tears, grateful for all the people on my almost four year journey who said, “Don’t quit when it gets tough.”
Whether you’re in an organization or a marriage, you don’t have perspective because you’re in it. Like when you’re on the football field, you can’t see what’s behind you.
A good coach can see what’s happening everywhere and is outside of your life.
This is why the Luscious Mother Group Coaching program, starting October 9, is so valuable. You’ll meet with moms like you (almost) every week that reflect your dreams and what you want to create.
They’ll stand with you in the I don’t wannas and I don’t feel like its. They care about you living the life of your dreams, even on the days you don’t.
And they’re not going to let you quit.
If you want that kind of good lovin’, if that’s the kind of accountability that’s been missing for you, let’s get the party started right here.
Early Bird Special is $450 through August 14th and goes up to $550 after then.
This thing is filling up fast. The landing page went up four days ago and people are already grabbing seats. Mama, you’re going to be wishing you got onboard.
Register for Group Coaching lovin’ by clicking here.
Until next time, keep that luscious heart.
Sometimes I’ve missed my turn on the road, as I’m sure you have too.
When that happens, your GPS says “recalculating” in a calm, reassuring voice (maybe in a British accent if that’s how you’ve set it) and gives you a new route. It doesn’t ask why you missed your turn. No judgment, just quick, simple action.
But when you’re talking to yourself about missing a turn, you’re not as calm. Maybe you say, “Dang, I can’t believe I missed my turn!” Cue the colorful hand gestures.
The GPS has no qualms about moving on and seeing where the new route takes you.
But you do.
As a coach, my job is to fulfill what I declare: Helping clients and teammates meet their goals. When we miss these goals, we just recalculate the route.
There’s no beating yourself up for a missed turn. Or at least a new turn.
Sometimes the missed turns are exactly where you need to go. It’s where you learn more about yourself and get back on track — or find a whole new track.
This happened in a big way for me when Matt and I first met.
I was a bartender in Brooklyn. He was working on Broadway and doing some freelance copywriting. One night, he and I hit it off. We started dating.
But it became clear to me that (at the time) he was “zipped up” emotion-wise. And for me, that wouldn’t do.
It seemed like we were on different routes for sure. Recalculating…
But what happened next surprised both of us. We got honest with each other, and we’ve been inseparable ever since that day. It’s now a formative story about us.
Learn how our GPS recalculation became our ultimate connection on the Date Night with Jake and Page podcast.
We had a blast talking about our unexpected turns.
Then ask yourself:
What can you recalculate in your life?
What new actions will you take from your recalculated route?
Until next time, keep that luscious heart.
Last week, I was on a call with Christopher (my coach…who, BTW, is also the CEO of Accomplishment Coaching) sharing my excitement about my upcoming talk for Charlotte Parent Magazine at their Mom Matters event on “Work/Life Balance.”
I told him that I’d have 20 minutes to speak, followed by a Q&A. So much to share, so little time! What’s a Luscious Mother to do?
He asked me, “What is the most important thing you want these women to hear?”
I started waxing poetic about peace and love and possibility — at which point he cut me off: “What would Cookie Lyon say?” For those of you who don’t know, Cookie (played by Taraji P. Henson on the hip-hop soap opera, Empire) is my Spirit Animal. She’s a badass Mama who has taken some serious blows in service of her family. What I love about Cookie is that she has killer style, she tells it like it is, and she loves her family fiercely. And she is unapologetic about all of this.
Above all that, Cookie is a truth-teller. Her truth.
I summoned my “inner Cookie” and answered him: “She would tell them that you can change, but it ain’t gonna happen the same way you got here. You have to be willing to do something, to give something up.”
So for those of you who struggle with work/life balance, or anything for that matter (relationship, difficult colleague, diet), do you know exactly what’s missing in your life? And really, if we are going to tell the truth here, you know what’s really going on and you aren’t doing the thing or saying the thing that will make a difference.
How many of you know that putting yourself on your own to-do list is the answer?
That you have to make yourself a priority in your own life?
That you have to take some new or different action if you actually want things to be different?
If your looking for some truth-telling in your life, I’m your woman. I have two spots open in my Group Coaching for Moms Program starting the week of September 12th. Email me to get the conversation started.
I get ideas in my head about things that are important. I think we all do. When Matt was in his late thirties, I knew I wanted to make a big deal about his 40th birthday. I was very committed to this idea and even started a savings account to ensure that I could do it up right for him.
You see, Matt had a crap year professionally before we got married. He had an idea for a new play, chose a playwright, single-handedly guided the development of the show from Day One, and then moments before its Off-Broadway world premiere, the writer he was championing “broke up with him” professionally. For all you creatives out there, I’m certain you’re not falling out of your chair in shock. This kind of thing happens. And it’s crappy when it happens to someone you love. Matt was one of the lucky ones: he lawyered up before it became a hit; the show transferred to Broadway and got a Tony Award nod; he still gets credit in the script and on every production, and receives surprise royalty checks from time to time (the show has thus far received over 60 productions around the world). But for Matt (and so many artists) it was never about the money. He loved the show and put years of his life into it. To say the least, my man was bummed about what happened.
But we didn’t have a long time to mope about it. We got married! We got pregnant! We left NYC! And my man got even more bummed. His creative outlets had all but shut down. He had taken on a full-time retainer client that he found far from fulfilling. Meanwhile, I was on my own journey to becoming a life and leadership coach. The irony! A life coach whose husband doesn’t like his life.
And then, with his 40th birthday upon us, I went hog wild. Matt kept saying how he wanted to play more music; that would make him happy. So I pulled the trigger on a multi-month music studio rental for lots of money (he only used it a handful of times at best). I bought him a suit from J.Crew (yes, a birthday suit). I coordinated dinners and parties and other birthday events. I arranged for a group of his friends to kidnap him for the day and take him golfing and gallivanting. I planned a special dinner at a fancy steakhouse. There was a karaoke party with his twin brother and a full spread of BBQ. His friends still love to bring up “the birthday that wouldn’t end.”
What I can see now is that I was trying to make it all better. I wanted him to be happy. I wanted to fix what was wrong. And I burned through thousands of dollars and mental calories trying to make it happen. But it was a Band-Aid on a bullet wound. It didn’t make much of a difference.
But you know what did? Time. What worked was him getting sick and tired of himself being a drag. So he hired a life coach. He got in the best shape of his life. He wiped his professional slate clean and went all-in on his freelance copywriting business. Basically, he took serious action on his life. And now, he’s being heralded as Charlotte’s new champion of creativity.
Look, I still have a lot of love for my party-planning, gift-giving self. She meant well. She was just playing a game she couldn’t win.
How about you? Where are you playing an unwinnable game? Sick and tired of the same-old, same-old? Let’s talk.