This morning I found myself in a hot yoga class. Today the teacher was talking about where we “stop.” She suggested where we stop in our yoga practice is where we stop in life. So true! In most classes, I find myself stopping early. I am ALWAYS the first person in savasana (relaxation) and I usually avoid inversions and most backbends. By that point in class (near the end) I’m slowing down. I’m tired. I “don’t like” those postures. I’m not a pusher. Of myself or others, or I push up to a point. A point that we are both comfortable with. I have seen examples of this everywhere lately. This week, I had a call with my team in NYC. I missed the call due to “circumstances.” Our amazing nanny Bethany is on her honeymoon. Baby is getting over a double ear infection and Mama is trying to squeeze in clients and outreach during Daddy’s lunch hour. I asked my husband to come home for a client call but not for an extra 30-minutes for my team call. I stopped asking for support before I had everything I really needed. I missed out on some valuable training with my team from where I “stop.” And it’s an opportunity, right? For me to get curious about what is getting in my way and what the conversation is really about (I am afraid I am too needy, don’t want to be a burden or a pain–I have a great “story” about myself that I am a pain in the a**).
Where do you get stopped in life? How does stopping get in the way for your personal relationships? Professionally? This week I invite you to join me in going 10% further than you normally would. What is possible when we start to step out of our comfort zone? Interested in having a conversation about taking your relationships to the next level? Email me here to get the conversation started.
Firstly, I would like to thank all of you who reached out to me and sent prayers to my Mom. Her surgery went well and she is home recovering and getting stronger every day. So many things I witnessed and for which I am grateful:
Support & connection. The power of prayer. The love of family and community. Pure gold.
Secondly, I’d like to share an experience I had with a BNI networking group here in Charlotte. I was attracted to this group because they were so fun and lighthearted. Lots of people in blue collar industries — general contractor, electrician, painting, flooring. There is great energy in the room and the group has been passing along business for a long time. Since joining the group a few weeks ago, I haven’t gotten any referrals and Mama started to get a little miffed after last week’s meeting. I left frustrated and upset, with a cold to boot. I started with, “I shouldn’t have joined this chapter. They are all dudes. They don’t ‘get’ coaching or see the value in what I do. Don’t they see how great/spunky/fun/sharp/cute I am?” Then onto, “It’s me. I’m not representing myself well. I don’t have a good commercial. I’m awful at speaking in front of groups.” And then finally, “What’s missing? What is this really about? What am I committed to and how can I own how this goes?” Ahh . . . altitude. And notice how my automatic was to blame others and then beat myself up.
With the coaching work I’ve done, I am able to be empowered and responsible around what is happening in my life. Playing the blame game? Victimized by circumstances and the world? Interested in having things go differently? Email me here to get the conversation started.
For those of you that know me well, you may also have the pleasure of knowing my Mom, Sandy Cote. Sandy Cote is a very special lady — kind, warm, loving and wonderfully open-hearted. Everywhere she goes, people just love her. From a yogic perspective, we believe we choose our parents. And I must say, I picked a winner. A few months ago, my Mom was diagnosed with an aortic aneurism; a valve in her heart is getting bigger and it shouldn’t be. Since her diagnosis, my Mom and I have been Skyping two mornings a week to meditate, share our feelings and pray together. She also gets to see her grandaughter on these Skype sessions. She and I together have found the gold in this diagnosis: deeper connection and deeper appreciation for each other. Tonight, I flew to Boston to join the rest of Team Sandy Cote to support my mother during her surgery tomorrow.
This week I am asking for special prayers for my Mom, the AMAZING Sandy Cote.
Last weekend I did a great exercise that I’d love to share with you. It takes about two minutes…
Grab a notebook and answer the following questions: 1) What are your highest and most noble commitments? 2) Now, what are you actually committed to (i.e. what do you spend your time and energy on daily)?
For me, my highest was Mirabelle, Matt & Myself. In reality, Mirabelle, managing others and being busy were where I could honestly say my time and energy are spent. My knee jerk reaction to this admission was to be upset with myself (“I’m a shallow awful person”). And then, after a pause and a deep breath, I was able to get curious. What has me choose busy-ness and managing others over my husband and myself? What has me set my life up in this way? It now becomes a place to look instead of some good-ol-fashioned self-berating.
Are your “lists” out of alignment with what you are looking to create in your life? Willing to take a look? Interested in having things go differently? Email me here to get the conversation started.
Last Friday afternoon, I flew from Charlotte to Providence with my 15-month-old to visit family. What makes this trip noteworthy is that I was flying solo with my daughter. If you have never traveled on an airplane with a toddler, this story might be lost on you. However, if you know any toddlers or have ever seen one on the street, you might sympathize with some of my pre-trip feelings. This is my 4th flight with my daughter, but usually I have Daddy along for the ride — which is huge. This time, it was just me, my small friend and about 100 strangers, many of them armed with the “I hope you and your child are not sitting anywhere near me” look. I was excited and slightly nervous about the trip. Mirabelle is a really good traveler, but usually there is some major magic happening on the part of her father and me in orchestrating “ideal” travel conditions. In any case, I made it my job to be super-prepared and ready for this flight.
What does that look like? It actually started the night before with a great night’s sleep. The next morning, I meditated and took the time to get organized, packed and dressed — all in a way that would support ease on my travels (i.e. jeans with back pocket to hold ID and debit card for easy access). I made sure I had plenty of snacks for both of us so everyone would be happy and satiated. We arrived early at the airport so there would be no rushing or added stress. And everything went off without a hitch. Flight was great. Baby was great. But the biggest thing was…I was great. My being had been taken care of. And when we practice self-care, we are actually taking care of everyone else, because we are able to show up to the party of life as our best selves and allow and encourage others to do the same.
What is part of your non-negotiable self-care each day? How do you prioritize yourself? What would make putting yourself first worth it? Need some support in creating more self-care? Email me here to get the conversation started.
I got hit with the flu last week. Wednesday afternoon, I was feeling off, and by the evening, it was game on. For two days, I went from my bed to the couch and back. No email, no work, no calls, no cleaning — for 48 hours. Everything just kind of stopped — because I really didn’t have a choice (there is obviously always a choice of some kind, but in my state, it was limited).
So, I gave in to it. I rested. I listened closely to what my body wanted — and I delivered. No food choice too “bad” or strange (Utz Sour Cream & Onion chips, anyone?). Really just being where I was, which it turns out is a really powerful thing to practice and cultivate. Because there is so much wisdom within us, what’s really missing is slowing down enough to listen to and truly hear the sweet, soft voice of our own intuition.
Take a break. Slow down. What part of you could really use some love and attention? Where is your well being at — right in this very moment? Interested in having a new relationship with your well-being? Email me here to get the conversation started.