It was Friday afternoon in Washington, DC.
There I was, excited to be there, looking forward to not only teaching another Accomplishment Coaching class, but to also get the promotion I’ve been working towards the last few years.
I met with the senior leader of the program, who’s also on the steering committee and in charge of the “promotion” process. We walked back from dinner and she said:
Sarah, you’re not getting promoted this weekend.
I know the promotion of Junior Leader is still coming soon, but this was a tough pill to swallow because I was ready for it.
I got pretty quiet on the walk back, and then I said, “I’m upset. I’m going to take care of myself. I don’t want to lie to you about how I feel, but I’ll be ready tomorrow.”
Then I grabbed one of my friends, went upstairs, and cried, “This is stupid. I don’t want to do this anymore.” I said every untransformed thing you can think of.
It wasn’t my most shining moment.
After my friend left, I called Matt. He couldn’t have been more great if he tried, which to be honest, was a bit of a surprise. He usually gets in the deep end of the pity pool with me about Accomplishment Coaching (“Yeah, Sarah, quit!”).
I was afraid he was going to say, “Get your butt on a plane and come home!”
But what he said was exactly what I needed.
He was out with his friends, stepped out of the bar he was at, and said:
“You’re not there to be in a position. You’re there to change people’s lives. Go and be great and make a difference for people. You know you’re already in this role. You don’t need any title to tell you who you are. Just be great about it.” And then he promoted me to “Junior Goddess.”
This was a breakthrough moment in our relationship.
We’re always trying to avoid getting messy, but there’s usually something unbelievably cool on the other side of a big-ass mess. Breakdowns lead to breakthroughs.
The best and worst thing about this work is I have to practice what I preach. If I’m talking about moms taking care of themselves, I have to do it. If I’m telling people to be great in the face of crap, I have to practice being great in the face of things that I think are wrong/unfair/etc. I can’t tell people to do things I’m not willing to do.
What I want you to know, mama, is that I’m right there with you.
The great gift of doing this kind of work is I have more choices. I have more access. I have more reminders that it’s all just practice. More access to forgiveness with myself and others.
Oh, and DC turned out to be fantastic.
I had this incredible experience. I watched all these people in the program open up their hearts and take a look at what real possibility is, to face their own greatness. It was mind-blowing.
Until next time, keep that luscious heart.