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Ay, Corona!

Hello, Luscious. It’s a hell of a time to be a mother. Let’s face it, it’s a hell of a time to be a human. Coronavirus is impacting everyone and everything. It’s gone from “this is weird” to “this is bad” to “this is really happening!” We now have a full-blown pandemic with schools closing all over the country and families retreating to their homes in the hope that we can quell the rising tide that may be too much for our immune and medical systems. It’s scary. Legitimately. And now, as I look back on my concerns of the past few weeks they seem like a weird fever dream that happened in an alternate reality to a totally different sister. Before Covid-19 made landfall in America I was wrangling some complex thoughts and feelings. A few weeks ago I finished reading a “tell all” book about my spiritual teacher of the last 19 years which exposed him as a manipulative and potentially abusive person who took advantage of those who trusted and revered him. In that same time frame, my mother was having some big changes. An unexpected $20k tax bill arrived, just as I had been celebrating myself for being a financial baller because I paid off Matt’s car. And then we discovered we needed to drop another $5k into our vehicles. While all this stuff was swirling, I was traveling hither and yon to London, to DC, to California… you know, doing my unconscious best to become Charlotte’s “Patient Zero”. It’s so strange to look in the rearview mirror and consider the choices and experiences I...

Choosing YES

Hello, all you Luscious peeps. Recently, I had an experience in the land of domesticity that may not seem so foreign to some of you. I had heard that this kind of thing happened in marriages from time to time, but I naively assumed it was something that happened to other people. Not me. Not my husband. However, I was wrong. It was not so long ago, on what would’ve been an average, ordinary weeknight of sweet loving making and transcendent romantic bonding (read: watching Colbert clips on YouTube and folding laundry) when Matt said those six little words that would change everything: “I want to do community theater.” Ladies, I have to tell you. I couldn’t have been more surprised if he had told me he was Bloomberg’s pick for a running mate. I’ve worked hard to distance myself from my previous life as an actor and model in NYC—a foot model, but still: a model! When a gal moves her family to the south she thinks she’s safe from these shenanigans! “Hells to the no,” I said. Being in a play is a huge commitment, and we are very busy people with full-time jobs, complex carpool scenarios, daily constitutionals for the Doodle dog, entrepreneurial seedlings sprouting up everywhere, and those Stephen Colbert clips aren’t going to watch themselves. (He says new things every night. It takes diligence to keep up!) He asked that I hear him out… It turns out some of his oldest friends, his old poker crew, four of whom happen to be working actors, were mounting a production of Neil Simon’s “The Odd Couple”...

End of the year! Wait, end of the decade!!!

Hello Mothers and All Others, Back when Mirabelle was just a year and a half old, we couldn’t find a babysitter for NYE. So, Matt and I started a new tradition. It was created — as so many great things are — out of necessity, and it has become a beloved one in the Olin home. Here’s what we do: We cook a glorious dinner at home. We talk as a family about all the wins we had in the concluding year, and everything we want to create in the new year. Last year Mirabelle declared that seeing Ariana Grande in concert was one of her “goals” for 2019 — and low and behold, we ALL went to see her! It’s a really awesome way to close out the old and welcome in the new. I highly recommend it. In anticipation of this closing-out-the-year ritual, I was talking with my coach about all of my wins in 2019. And about all the things that were still lingering … the things that were unfinished. Which was awesome because it really put the year into perspective. Truthfully, my coach and I barely scratched the surface of the cool things I did in 2019. I presented at Google this year! I spoke at the inaugural International Working Mother’s Day at Amazon! (see above) I shared the stage at a private retreat with Esther Perel as the headliner! I went to San Antonio to study with Brené Brown. I spent amazing times with cherished friends. Worked with people that I love, respect and admire. Taught a workshop at Blackberry Mountain. Saw Paul McCartney...

Oops, Uh Oh, Yikes! And What to Do About It

Hello Luscious People! I want to share a blog post I read recently that really hit home for me. I had just had my first ever experience with a corporate coaching client being really unhappy with our work together, and not being shy about letting me know. My first reaction was to be super angry, defensive and righteous about how crappy and unprofessional my client was. Once I calmed down, I dug in and did my work around it. I was clear there was essential, valuable learning for me in this experience. As fate, luck, whatever-you-believe-in would have it, a blog post lands in my email from my dear friend, yoga teacher, coaching colleague, and amazing truth teller Carrie Wren, all about what happens when you inadvertently mess up. With Carrie’s gracious permission, I’m sharing the greatest hits of that post, including the key takeaways. (Read more about Carrie here.) So what do you do when you miss the mark? 1. Remind yourself that other people’s feelings are not your responsibility. That is their job. 2. Remind yourself that you will survive someone being dissatisfied with you. Although it may feel like you can’t stand being the subject of someone else’s displeasure, I assure you that you can, and you will. 3. Examine what actually happened. What is the lesson or opportunity for your growth? 4. Give everyone – yourself included – more grace than you think is deserved. 5. Take ownership for what’s yours. What was present or missing in your own communication that had it go this way? 6. Decide to forgive yourself. Seriously, how long are...

Ending Well (otherwise known as Don’t Quit! Complete.)

Dear Luscious Reader, how I love thee, To borrow from the Bard, all’s well that ends well. As we move into November and the ensuing holiday blur, what occurs to me is the opportunity to end well. After all, we are ending – not just the year but also the decade. So what does it mean, to end well? As many of you know, I began as a participant at Accomplishment Coaching when my daughter Mirabelle was just 6 months old. Now, seven plus years later, having risen through the ranks to the leadership team, I recently decided to give my notice. This has been a conversation I’ve been engrossed in for the last 6 months. Truth be told, longer than that. I’ve gone back and forth on this for several years. Hot and cold. Wanting to quit. Feeling torn, ambivalent, at times engaged and lit up, but at other times frustrated and fed up. I was coming to this ending from a thoroughly disempowering place. I was being adversarial and blaming AC. “You don’t deserve me. You don’t pay me enough. F*ck you!” Your basic teenager move, slamming the door on her way out. Thankfully, my dear friend and colleague, Anna Tartak, gave me a really useful course correction. “Girl, you’ve gotta be great! Leave them better than you found them. Be a rock star until the moment you leave!” Which is very different from how I usually burn the house down. So often we create all this drama because we don’t know how to get out. What Anna counseled seemed much more in alignment with who I...

E X H A L E

Hello luscious mamas, I had the great fortune of having a stay at home mom growing up. My childhood summers were lazy in the best way – just hanging out, no schedule to follow. The purpose of summer was to slow down, breathe easily, e x h a l e… As a mom, really even just as an adult, summer doesn’t quite feel the same. Even when we go on our annual family vacation with the grandparents, which we love, it’s planned, replete with itinerary and scheduled activities. But a few summers ago Matt, Mirabelle and I started taking an August beach trip. We do whatever we feel like doing (which includes doing nothing!) We have no agenda or schedule. And it’s glorious! It’s our most anticipated, most looked forward to trip of the year. It’s really important to have time when there’s nothing to do, on purpose. Exhaling. For me, that’s our August beach trip. We figure things out in the exhale. Without it … not necessarily. And this summer in particular, I am so grateful for it. My summer has been tinged with profound loss and sadness. In a span of 6 short weeks, two dear friends passed from cancer. I had known each of them for over 10 years. In its wake, loss makes you look at what’s important. Grief makes you contemplate what matters. For me, it’s making me take stock in a really big way. I’m asking myself: Is this relationship in alignment? Does this person know how much they mean to me? Is my business aligned? My physical health? My relationship with my husband? With my daughter? By and large I’m a happy camper. There...